Buried Talents by Susan Harris Howell

Author:Susan Harris Howell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: women in leadership;women in the church;gendered socialization;gendered language;gender studies;women's studies;vocational discernment;vocation;career;career choice;career discernment;gender roles;gender and grammar;gender and English grammar;division of labor;gender bias;glass ceiling;women in the workplacegender pay gap;gender bias in secondary education;female leaders in the church;women leaders in the church;female empowerment;empowering women
Publisher: InterVarsity Press
Published: 2022-01-31T12:17:43+00:00

BEHAVIORAL TECHNIQUES

Decide to seek and believe truth. Forgiveness researcher and author Everett Worthington makes a distinction between decisional and emotional forgiveness. Decisional forgiveness is a “behavioral intention statement . . . to behave toward the transgressor like one did prior to the transgression.”13 By itself, decisional forgiveness does not require that one feel forgiving, but is an act of will that might emerge from one’s belief system. Worthington does suggest, however, that this decisional component usually leads to emotional forgiveness, which “necessarily reduces unforgiving emotions” and sometimes results in more positive emotions toward the offender.14

Worthington’s model would seem to apply as easily to nurturing a more accurate mindset. As such, the act of will would be the decision to believe truth—about oneself and one’s abilities and potential. This decision would therefore be the first step in replacing unhealthy, harmful messages with those that are accurate and more productive. The emotional component—self-confidence, enthusiasm for opportunities—while not always present at first, can follow.

Realizing that the emotional component of any behavior might very well be absent at first can provide hope that it will come in time and that lasting change is indeed a process. Accepting that the process can begin with nothing more than our statement of will, grounded in our belief system, can reassure us that we have the power to initiate this life-altering process.

Of course, deciding to believe truth dictates that we open ourselves to the source of truth. Prayerful reading of Scripture and other sources like the ones recommended at the end of this chapter make for a good beginning.

Behave as if. Another technique that begins with a change in behavior is to behave as if we already possess the mental framework and affect we are trying to develop. This means that we exhibit the same behavior we would if we believed in ourselves and felt as confident as we hope to one day. We don’t wait until the mental framework is in place. We don’t hold off until we feel confident. We behave now as if we already had both.

And how do we behave when we have confidence? We typically seek opportunities to use our skills and talents. When presented with a challenge, we meet it rather than backing away prematurely. If others suggest that we are incapable, we know better and carry on.

The first time we attempt this, we might not feel anything close to capable and confident. We might even feel like a phony. But as we continue, we improve our level of skill, and the behavior will feel less forced. We no longer feel as if we are playing a role; instead, it’s as if we have found a part of ourselves we didn’t know existed.

As an introvert, I feel uncomfortable the first day of any class in which I don’t know many of the students. Seeing thirty pairs of eyes staring back at me is daunting, and I often would rather walk right past the classroom and just keep going. However, when I enter the room, I always behave as if I am completely at ease.

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